So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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