Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
