i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
