Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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