When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
