He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
