i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize