It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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