Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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