smell my finger.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
