can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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