Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
