I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm at about main and main street
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
