and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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