i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
