Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
