I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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