I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize