Porn is love you can see.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
