so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize