why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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