We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Is it penis luge time yet?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
