ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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