you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
