If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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