is your mom at the bar?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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