wakey wakey hands off snakey
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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