i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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