I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
