Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
