i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
