This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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