so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
