Yo dont text me then not text me
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
