is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
