6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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