Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
