Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
