No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
