I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
