guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
