TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
