you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
