Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
