Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
