Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
