omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I am naked and annoyed.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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