I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
