Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
