So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Randomize
