He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
