she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
