My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
