Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize