flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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