Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
