New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
