Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
