Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
