thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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