yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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