he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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