you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
