Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
