at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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