How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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