I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
