glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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