I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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