I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
