she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
