Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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