i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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