My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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