Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
