For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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