If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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