btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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