well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
