New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
What a dumb baby whore.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
