"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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