Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
