Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
