nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
