I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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