I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
