Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I love having hate sex.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize