She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
A bitchslap is in order.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
