Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
